Telling Each Other the Truth

Truth The six years I spent as an urban youth worker really helped shape some of my views on how to do ministry. One thing I've become increasingly aware of is the fact that lots of churches in America have simply become "too safe". Many congregations try to offer everything, demand nothing and they go out of their way to avoid offending anyone. And don't get me wrong, some of those congregations are successful at bringing in new members. But from my experience, feel-good Christianity is a major turn-off in the long run, especially for men.

Probably 95% of my ministry has been to males. When I'm teaching faith principles, I use a lot of war and sports analogies and metaphors because I've found these to be especially effective when explaining spiritual concepts to guys. Most of the guys from my youth ministry (some of whom I mentor now as young adults) are not impressed with pie-in-the-sky, "touchy-feely" Christianity. They respond better to real Christianity, warts and all. Church is family, but it looks more like Roseanne to them than Leave It to Beaver. And if we're honest, we know that's the way it is for us too.

When I'm counseling or mentoring someone, I've discovered that one of the things people value most is honesty, even when it hurts. Life is full of critics and "yes men", but very few people will give someone a balanced picture. For years, my spirit was troubled by all of the "trash talk" I encountered in urban youth culture. Even the Christian kids would constantly say nasty stuff and put each other down. I tried everything I could to stop it, and mostly failed, even with my core group. Then I realized that this "confrontational boldness" could be redirected toward something more positive. Now I encourage the guys to be real with each other and share truth in love, but I don't attempt to turn them into a bunch of wusses who only give out daily affirmations. And I try to get them to use the thick skin they've developed from years of trading insults to gladly receive correction and instruction from other Christians. Most of us are, frankly, too easily offended when it comes to matters of faith. And we wonder why so many of us have become disillusioned with the Christian life.

When's the last time you confronted a Christian friend about:

  • hypocrisy
  • lack of faith
  • being too negative
  • bad language
  • laziness
  • immaturity
  • complacency
  • financial irresponsibility
  • bad health choices
  • being wasteful
  • sexual sin

The Bible makes clear that we shouldn't be judging those outside the church. Other Christians, however, are a different matter entirely. But from my experience, people don't receive correction well unless you've somehow earned the right to give it to them. (And even those encounters aren't usually without drama.) Unfortunately, some Christians avoid confrontation entirely because they don't "have everything together" themselves. The key here isn't to wait until you're perfect, but to have accountability relationships of your own.

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Converting the Churched: Controversial Then, Controversial Now

Wesleybook Some of you were offended when I wrote Wednesday that there are United Methodist pastors who have never experienced a genuine Christian conversion. Here's a post I published in 2005 that should shed a little more light on one of my more controversial views.
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If you spend much time hanging around a mainline church, the issue of evangelizing people from other religions is sure to become a topic for discussion. In John Wesley, A Biography, church historian Stephen Tomkins deals extensively with a different controversy, one that still ruffles feathers now: converting professing Christians. So why does evangelizing "Christians" cause such a stir? For one, it threatens people with generally good hearts who have had positive faith experiences, yet have never truly surrendered their lives to Jesus Christ. We don't want to think that our faith has been inadequate, so when people tell us that we're not okay, our first response is to defend ourselves. We don't want to accept the possibility that religion can be a matter of the head without being a matter of the heart.

Surely John Wesley had reason to think that his Christianity was valid. He was an Anglican priest, after all. He had also taught at the university level, and experienced persecution by being part of the "Holy Club". His attempts at holiness before his conversion probably make post-conversion attempts by most of today's evangelicals look weak by comparison. But not until his mission to convert Native Americans in Georgia and his subsequent conversations with Peter Böhler, did he begin to realize that his own conversion had never happened. Wesley even preached this doctrine experimentally before his famous conversion experience at Aldersgate Street.

The rest of course is history, and Wesley's insistence on this doctrine got him thrown out of many churches for the rest of his ministry. If you read the accounts in his journal, you'll find Wesley and his friends chased out of different towns by people throwing rocks because he dared to ask people to test themselves and their own faith. Today, of course, when we do that, we are accused of "not being ecumenical" or being "one of those evangelicals", which is in itself interesting since I've been told that some statistics show that even in the average evangelical church, only half the people have experienced a valid conversion. I admit that I don't have the statistics to back that up, and I wonder if even George Barna could pull off an accurate survey about that. (Unconverted "evangelicals" are probably harder to reach than unconverted mainliners.)

I'm not going to insist that a rigid "date and time salvation" model is the only valid paradigm for Christian conversion. But surely there needs to be some type of conscious conversion, because without a realization of our own inability to earn salvation, and a deliberate repentance and sole reliance on what the crucifixion accomplished for us as individuals, Christianity becomes nothing more than a different version of every works-based religion on the planet.
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Originally published February 12, 2005.

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How to Get a New Pastor Without Going to the Bishop

Cartoon This article isn't written for those of you who have a personality conflict with your pastor. Get over it. Ditto with petty grievances like sermon length, leadership style or vestment choices. If those are your big issues, then maybe the person in the mirror needs to make some changes before we discuss changing the person in the pulpit.

With that disclaimer in mind, I'm going to present some practical ways you can help your church get a new pastor. I should probably take this opportunity to clarify that by "new pastor" I don't necessarily mean another individual, although occasionally that needs to happen. When you misuse a calling or an anointing, sometimes God needs to make some personnel changes. Just ask Saul and David. (On the other hand, maybe that isn't such a good idea with them being dead and all.)

Share the Gospel with your pastor. John Wesley experienced conversion after becoming a priest. How do you know if your pastor has a personal relationship with Jesus? First of all, look at the gospel they're preaching. Is it one with a foundation of repentance and faith in Jesus or one that emphasizes good works, political activism, social justice or {insert your own noun here} with no call for inner change? That's your first clue. Maybe your pastor has never experienced a real life-changing encounter with Jesus Christ. But unless you've got a supernatural evangelism gift, you've got to build a long-term positive relationship with your pastor in order to earn the right to challenge them with that possibility. In the meantime, examine your own life to make sure you're in the faith, and bring conversations with your pastor back to Jesus whenever possible. Genuine faith is contagious. That "new pastor" you're wanting may be your old pastor after they've experienced a new birth!

Pray for your pastor. And no wimpy prayers, either. If your pastor is preaching a gospel that isn't compatible with orthodox, historical Christian teaching, ask God to change the situation. If you suspect that your pastor isn't a Christian, pray for their salvation. Pray for their health. Pray for them to be filled with the Holy Spirit and equipped with spiritual gifts and power to carry out their ministry. Pray that they'll be able to hear God. Pray for God to send angels to assist them and protect them from spiritual attack. If you feel that there is some kind of spiritual attack going on, confront and rebuke any evil spiritual forces you discern in the situation. Feel free to experiment to see what brings results, but don't go beyond God's leading. Also, make sure you confess and repent of any hidden sins in your own life before you attempt any type of spiritual warfare, and be prepared for some kind of spiritual backlash. It usually means you're doing something right.

Pray for God to raise up someone else. The hard truth is that sometimes people just aren't in the right place. Although God is really good at making lemonade out of lemons, our United Methodist appointment process isn't foolproof, and it needs your prayers as much as anything else in life! A longtime friend and pastor told me for years to "trust that the system will work." I do trust the system to work, but only with a lot of prayer! Without prayer by experienced intercessors, there's a real possibility that the appointment process could screw things up! Everything that happens is not God's will. The fact is, we have plenty of pastors who probably need to find a new line of work. Maybe it's going to take more prayer to help show them the door.

Find alternative ways to feed the flock. So what do you do when your church just got a knucklehead pastor who looks for every opportunity to discredit the Bible and destroy faith? This approach is controversial, but it can be highly effective. Simply find good Christian books, teaching CDs and DVD's, and begin sharing them with others in your church. Start your own prayer and Bible study group. I heard of a United Methodist pastor in Texas who banned Beth Moore (a popular Southern Baptist Bible teacher) in his church but the women of the congregation bought Beth Moore DVD's and had their own Bible study anyway. Don't buck pastoral authority lightly, however. Whether your pastor is right about something or not, God takes their position seriously and you need to as well. But you can't just sit back and and watch people starve spiritually. Methodists supposedly value "open minds", so pass around those books and audio teachings wthout having a guilty conscience. And if you want to remain "brand loyal", there are plenty of good, orthodox United Methodist writers and teachers. What you'll find when you do this is that the church's appetite for God's word will grow, and pressure will mount for your pastor to make some changes.

Church politics and "the system" aren't going away anytime soon. It's how we do things in United Methodism. Every church and denomination has a system for doing things, and most systems are strong in some areas and weaker in others. But we serve a God who is bigger than any system. He can work through systems or around them. In the United Methodist Church, there is a higher authority than the bishop and a higher court than the judicial council- God himself. Make no mistake, placing yourself under someone's pastoral authority is a big deal. Your pastor has a tremendous responsibility, and should be held accountable by you, your congregation, the D.S., the bishop, the church universal, and ultimately, by God. So if you feel that a pastoral change of any kind is necessary, pray and fast first to determine if you should take action... and how to approach the situation if you do. There's more than one way to skin a cat.

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Rules for the Society

WESJOURN The return of my brother’s illness obliged me again to hasten to London. In the evening I found him at James Hutton’s, better as to his health than I expected; but strongly averse from what he called “the new faith.” This evening our little society began, which afterwards met in Fetter-Lane. Our fundamental rules were as follow: —
IN obedience to the command of God by St. James, and by the advice of Peter Bohler, it is agreed by us,
1. That we will meet together once a week to “confess our faults one to another, and pray one for another, that we may be healed.”
2. That the persons so meeting be divided into several bands, or little companies, none of them consisting of fewer than five, or more than ten persons.
3. That every one in order speak as freely, plainly, and concisely as he can, the real state of his heart, with his several temptations and deliverances, since the last time of meeting.
4. That all the bands have a conference at eight every Wednesday evening, begun and ended with singing and prayer.
5. That any who desire to be admitted into this society be asked, “What are your reasons for desiring this? Will you be entirely open; using no kind of reserve? Have you any objection to any of our orders?” (which may then be read.)
6. That when any new member is proposed, every one present speak clearly and freely whatever objection he has to him.
7. That those against whom no reasonable objection appears, be, in order for their trial, formed into one or more distinct bands, and some person agreed on to assist them.
8. That after two months’ trial, if no objection then appears, they may be admitted into the society.
9. That every fourth Saturday be observed as a day of general intercession.
10. That on the Sunday seven-night following be a general love-feast, from seven till ten in the evening.
11. That no particular member be allowed to act in any thing contrary to any order of the society: And that if any persons, after being thrice admonished, do not conform thereto, they be not any longer esteemed as members.

John Wesley's Journal Monday May 1, 1738

Sleeping in a Spiritual Grave

Fletcherfridays We frequently keep back from our hearers the very portions that honest Nathan or blunt John the Baptist would have particularly enforced. The taste of many is perverted; they "loathe the manna of the word," not because it is light, but heavy food. They must have "savoury meat, such as their soul loveth;" and we "hunt for venison," we minister to their spiritual luxury, and feast with them on our doctrinal refinements. Hence "many are weak and sickly among us." Some that might be "fat and well-liking, cry out, My leanness! My leanness!" And "many sleep" in a spiritual grave, the easy prey of corruption and sin.

John William Fletcher's Second Check to Antinomianism, Letter 3

John William Fletcher was one of Methodism's first great theologians. He traveled with John Wesley and frequently preached with him. Each Friday I present a short passage from his published works.

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  • Copyright © 2008, 2009 Faith Experience Media. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked GW are from GOD'S WORD®. Copyright © 1995 by God's Word to the Nations. Used by permission. Scripture quotations marked NRSV are from the New Revised Standard Version of the Bible, Copyright © 1989 by the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.


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